Irk. I love that work. Such a concise, terse, wonderful way to express frustration. Meester Webster says that irk = to irritate, annoy, or exasperate. Why on earth would you say you're exasperated when you could just say that you are
irked by something? It's much shorter, and quite a bit more fun to say.
Here's a few
irksome things that, in my humble opinion, should be burned and their ashes stamped upon, then ingested by a large waterfowl and excreted in some rank, bubbling swamp where they will forever exist in utter isolation.
Wasps.
Ya know how good it feels when somebody hides what's really going on behind your back? Yeah, me neither. Shoot straight with me, please. I'd much rather you tell me that you think I'm a dirtbag than drop little irksome statements about me.
Justin Beiber. Don't know why? Read these lyrics:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/justinbieber/boyfriend.html
and then come back and tell me that your hope in humanity has been lost in a dank, dark cave of shallow lyrics and auto-tune, and that your IQ has dropped by 20 points. It'll happen. Read at your own risk.
They're. Their. There. Its. It's. Your. You're. I think this is generally ranted about, beaten, stabbed, and clubbed constantly on the internet, but I'm going to kick it in the head once more. If there is an apostrophe, it means that there are TWO words jammed into one. Think about it. If you want to say "OMG I'm going to you're party tomorrow! Its gonna be soooo fun!" on facebook in an excessive burst of exaggerated excitedness, (b/c people get away with that on the internet everyday), DON'T. Because if you do, I will show up at your front door with this.
Think about it. If there is an apostrophe, there is missing text and/or space that you need to add the picture. Sound it out. "OMG I am going to you are party tomorrow. Its gonna be so fun!" Seems to me that you're looking for the word that tells your friend that you are indeed going to his or her party. Since "you're" didn't work, use the other one. Your. Since "Its" has no apostrophe, it won't separate into "it is." You can't just open up a word wormhole and generate the implied space and extra "i." English isn't THAT crazy of a language.
The youtube videos that don't allow your mouse pointer to disappear. Yes, it's only a tiny pointer. And yes, it aggravates (irks) me to no end.
Wannabe gangsters. And real ones, too. Pull your pants up and respect those around you, please. Humans have invented these wondrous devices called belts that keep your pants above your batookus. If you call yourself a gangster, but you respect your surroundings and contribute to society, cool beans. I'm not one to stereotype irrationally.
When people incorrectly shout: "That's so racist!" If I say, "There's a mexican working in that restaurant," it isn't racist. It's a neutral statement. That fella is making money for himself, so good for him. He's one-upping the white guy down the street who's playing World of Warcraft all day. If I say something derogatory about someone based on their ethnicity, then I'm being racist. And you would be right to call me on it.
Horseradish. Tastes nothing like horse or radishes. Not that I'd know, but I doubt horse meat tastes like the salty tears of Poseidon soaked in a radish for two years.
b8ing facebook statuses.
"I'm so depressed."
"@&#$ some &^$#*@ people just !@(*&# tick me off...."
"When will it ever stop?"
That's infuriating (irksome) in and of itself, but then when someone comments with "What's up?" and the drama king/queen IMMEDIATELY responds with "text me," it. irks. me. even. more. We can all tell that all you want is attention. If you're having a rough go of life, talk to someone you trust and ask for advice, don't post your veiled problems to a social networking site where hundreds of other people will see it, and then refuse to say what exactly is going on. I, for one, have unsubscribed from updates for several people on facebook. I don't really have the heart to unfriend most people since I want to see what they're up to from time to time, but I don't need to see it when all I want to do is waste time on facebook in peace.
Spellcheck when I know I don't want to change what I wrote. In case you haven't noticed, I put misspelled words in this blog all the time to make a point, and I don't have any desire to change them. Lemme misspelllll in pEAcee!! Eez for humors!
When people make up words in scrabble. And it just so happens to be in the dictionary.
Pringles cans. How on earth am I supposed to jam my hand in there? Are they discriminating against anyone that doesn't have puny hands? I want my pringles, not an ice pack to soothe my hand after trying to jam it in the stupid can. I was irked about that looooooong before it became a thoroughly used joke on the internet, thank you very much. I'm an irk hipster. An irkster.
Small dogs that think they're roaring rabid ravenous towering hulking growling grunting grizzly bears. Sometimes I reeeeally wish I could drop kick a chihuahua. Not really. But kind of.
Tailgaters. Maybe I DO need to scrape the encrusted insect entrails, dirt, and hard water stains off of my bumper, but I don't need you to do it for me.
Hopefully you gained some nugget of appreciation for all of the wonderfully irksome things out there, if only that you learned what irk means. If you didn't, then it's quite possible that you irk me. A lot.
